I attempted to come up with some witty title addressing my absence from this space, but I just didn’t come up with anything good. Hopefully an explanation can make up for that.
It’s been months since I even have looked at my website and blog. There are some very good reasons for that and I hope to explain some of them here.
The urge to return to explore my writing in more than 140 characters and quick entries promoting my business has been niggling at me for awhile. I have long desired to make connections with others and make meaning of our lives, our communities, our world, and our universe. Current events have obviously been influential in my return to the blogosphere. There has been pain, sadness, fear, and much destruction in the news, happening right in our neighborhoods as well as in seemingly far away places. But this is not the end friends, there are kind hearted people out there, there are solutions to the hurting in the world there is good there with the bad. I’m hoping that you and I, side by side, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder can help lighten the load for others.
But first allow me to deal with personal matters, and the reason for my absence. Much of my life comes down to energy conservation and stress management. After pneumonia in 2007 and the subsequent diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and other chronic and invisible illnesses I saw the world from my computer. I interacted with friends and strangers from behind my screen, often laying in bed amongst stacks of pillows, heating pads, ice packs. Up until that time my writing was pretty focused on the things I was encountering as a seminary student at The Methodist Theological Ohio,crusading for the environment, and engaging in the spiritual.
My writing then shifted towards the desperate, searching for answers and companionship amongst the other chronically ill. I made friends, found catharsis, and learned a bit of something in the process. I also found myself a new community that wasn’t restricted to only the chronically ill.
Crafting has given me an outlet from endless hours of boredom as well as giving me the skills to the make a way for myself. With a turn towards business owner a lot of my energy, both mental and physical, went into posting items, promoting my shop, applying to craft shows, and shlepping my inventory around Columbus.
In October I found myself in a position with my health that I began working outside of the apartment and my own business with a job in retail. This was fantastic, this is the GOOD part of life that I mentioned earlier. After 8 years, it was exciting, but I also approached this opportunity with trepidation. I was concerned if my health would cooperate, could I be reliable, would this position even work out the way I wanted it to.
And guess what? It DID work, I became a valuable employee, a person that other people came to with their questions. I would find myself driving either to or from work and occasionally cry with joy, relief, excitement for the future. For 8 months this worked, I had a few migraines, a few days when my legs would not carry me down the steps of my apartment, and management as well as my coworkers were great.
Enter the next 2 months from hell. It started with a migraine and several days of calling off with promise of a note from my doctor. However, with a visit to the neurologist left me realizing if a quick dose of meds didn’t work I’d probably need to take a longer term leave from work. Although the migraine did abate after 3 weeks, I now find myself reliving the years 2008-2013. Every chronic illness that I have has made itself known since that first day I called off in June. This is the BAD part of my story that I have to acknowledge with my GOOD of the last year.
So I find myself in a coffee shop on a Sunday morning with a little time on my hands and weeks of inactivity and deep thoughts. But that’s enough for today, a little background of where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. I will write again soon.
Be kind to one another.