I just Tweeted that I was thinking about what to post in my blog because my crochet muscles were too sore to get anything accomplished.  So here I am with a little tid bit about why my muscles are so sore.

There is a lot of stuff I can say about my daily struggle with Fibromyalgia, but often it is hard for me to do so.  There are hundreds of blog posts and articles out there that give a good picture of the chronic condition.  There is also a lot of crap about it out there too.  For the first two years I was ill I read almost everything I could get my hands on, and an equal number of stuff that I read was either irritating or enlightening.

If you are interested in learning the basics, there is some good background information here in my archives.

Dealing with the pain isn’t such a struggle these days, I’ve learned to cope for the most part.  Not saying that I don’t have pain, because there isn’t a day that goes by that I am not in pain.  So yes, my crochet muscles are sore, and that slows me down a bit.  I  have to lay in bed, and either deal with the pain or take meds that make me nauseated and dopey.  I decided a while ago that RX painkillers were just not for me.  However this kind of makes me feel like a “faker” because I won’t take the good stuff.  But honestly it’s not all that good too me.  This pretty much speaks to the issues I’ve been having lately, not physical, but mental.

I feel like I should be doing more, I get down on myself when I have bad days, I am not the person I use to be, and am not yet comfortable with the person I’m becoming.

So that’s where I’m at on this crappy rainy winter night.  In pain, not able to be too productive, and feeling like a horrible person because of it.

I’m not really looking for answers tonight, just writing this to raise awareness of what people (including me) can go through on a daily basis.  I’m just one among many trying to make a life for themselves despite the challenges.  I’ll leave you with a pretty picture.